Part 1 is about developing the system for handling the purchase, preparation, and clean up of FOOD for meals in the home. The other systems of the home deal with clothing, shelter, education, and life purpose. These systems are analogous to departments in a business. They are the backbone of a household and need managed to experience the peaceful fruits of a safe, joyful home. The alternative is a chaotic home with feelings of bitterness and apathy.

This is part 1 of a 3-part series:

• Developing the Systems of Your Home (Part 1): Food
• Developing the Systems of Your Home (Part 2): Shelter
• Developing the Systems of Your Home (Part 3): Clothing

Standing in a church lobby, I overheard two fathers talking:

Dad #1: Where is your son going to college?

Dad #2: Well, I went to UCLA but his mom graduated from USC. He hasn’t made up his mind yet which one he wants to attend.

And I thought, Is that all there is to it? Here are intelligent, godly men who simply assume that when Jim or Susie finishes finish high school, the next stop will be a four-year stay at the nearest university. No further questions asked!

Even in an association like ATI, where parents specialize in hands-on involvement with the training of their sons and daughters, you can still find families whose education planning consists solely in selecting the university where their son or daughter will spend the next four years.

God may lead some families to send their young people to university, but it is unwise to make such a decision without asking a lot of questions, asking the right questions.

Avoid the danger of tunnel vision.

When you look through a tunnel, you can see only a small circle of light. There is a broad landscape that’s just out of view because you are peering through the tunnel. Many families make poor choices about the post-high school years because they have limited themselves to looking through the tunnel of career and college. They look for a career when they could be searching for a calling. And they try to find a college when they might be considering a whole array of possible pathways.

1. Career vs. calling

God has a purpose for your life, and it includes far more than just your career. He has called us to glorify Him in every area of our lives: growing in Christ-like character, leaving the legacy of a godly family, making an impact for Christ’s kingdom. Your job is merely one aspect of God’s calling for you. Therefore, the “college” years are a time to grow in all areas. Luke 2:52 tells us that “Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man” – not just in career skills!

2. College vs. multiple options.

Good stewardship requires that we explore all the creative alternatives available for gaining the training and experience that we will need to prepare for God’s calling. For some, a college degree is the best choice. For others, a combination of other training and learning experiences may be wiser. The wise parent checks all the options.

Four questions to ask before you head for college

For several years, I have used the following questions to help people get a broader view from God’s perspective when they make decisions about training after high school.

1. What is God calling me to do?

Scripture makes it clear that God calls every Christian to be holy, to make disciples (Matthew 28:19), to do good works. But He also calls each of us to glorify Him in specific ways. One person may become a pastor; another may care for orphans; still another may fix cars. One may proclaim Christ through music; another may share the gospel in quiet conversations. You may not know precisely what God has planned for you, but good planning begins when you ask, “How much do I understand about what God is calling me to do?”

2. Where am I now?

Once you know where you’re headed, take inventory and figure out where you are now. The Telos Institute International has published a Life Portfolio Workbook called Experience is a Great Teacher,. which takes you step by step through the process of recording what you have already learned from your life experiences. It’s encouraging to realize how much you’ve already learned!

3. What preparation do I need?

Look at God’s calling – where you want to end up – and your current life experience – where you are now. Then ask, “Where are the gaps between where I am and where I need to be?” Your answer might involve skills or knowledge or character. In any case, the list becomes your agenda for the next years of training.

4. Do I need a college degree? If so, what kind?

Only now are you ready to start making decisions about college. As you answer this question, remember that people go to college for two reasons – to learn something and to get a piece of paper. Consider those two aspects one at a time. First, do you need a professional credential to enter the field for which God has burdened you? To be a surgeon or an elementary school teacher, you probably do need the piece of paper. If you want to run the family farm or start your own company, that diploma will not mean as much. Second, what do you need to learn? Suppose you want to be a pastor – what do you need to know? What character do you need to develop? What skills are important? Once you have clarity about this question, you are in a much better to position to decide whether college is necessary for you. Perhaps you would benefit more from a vocational school or on-the-job training. Or God might lead you to devote part of your youth to single-minded service. There’s no hurry to enter the job market.

5. What specific program(s) should I choose, and when should I take each step?

Notice the (s) in this question! God may lead you to a series of experiences, rather than a single college. It might involve a foundation year of study in Bible and life principles through the Telos Institute, followed by a year of service, teaching character in the schools of Oklahoma City or teaching English in Taiwan. Then you might choose to finish a college degree with the help of Verity Institute or the International Ministerial Institute. There are more options available than most people ever dreamed. Take the time to research the possibilities and ask the Lord for guidance and creativity as you help your sons and daughters launch into adult life.

This series of questions is just part of BLP 080, a 5-week course in Personal Education Strategy offered by The Telos Institute International. For more information about this course, you may contact the Telos office at 317-923-7301 or info@telos.edu.

This article was adapted from a presentation by Dr. John Bechtle to a breakout session at the 2010 ATI Regional Conference in Indianapolis.

I have expressed many times the challenge to fathers to lead their family in daily family devotions. I know this is a challenge and I also know that most men in the church are not doing this. There are many reasons men are intimidated when it comes to taking on the spiritual leadership of their homes, but I do not want to get into that at this time. What I want to do is to share with you, men, how I lead our family devotional time each evening in hopes that it will encourage you to lead your family as well.

When we began doing family devotions it was awkward and challenging. I was uncomfortable, not communicating well with the kids, and they were not enjoying sitting for long. I decided we would read through a book of the Bible. We would gather together after dinner was cleaned up and read a passage. I would ask questions, trying to be practical and help them understand how the passage related to their lives. It was challenging, but we were struggling through it together. We would follow that time with prayer, and then we would work on a passage we were memorizing together.

This process often took an hour, which we learned was way too much. I wanted this to be a priority, but I needed to be more realistic. I needed to find ways to allow the kids to be more engaged, have more fun, and shorten our time without sacrificing what I wanted to accomplish. I needed to be creative, which is not my strong suite.

Jill helped a lot with all of this, giving me ideas, helping me communicate with the kids and encouraging their participation. We began to act out passages, being silly at times, trying to make the time together more interesting. Over the winter, when it got dark early, we were reading through Mark and came to the transfiguration. To try to capture the light shining from Jesus we turned off the lights and put on silly glasses that were painted with glow-in-the-dark paint. Is this what Jesus looked like? They knew it wasn’t, but they remember that night, and they remember that story. We are currently reading through Genesis and are in the middle of the Joseph story. Different children are reading the different characters in the story. When Pharaoh chooses Joseph to lead the nation he places his ring, a robe, and a gold chain on Joseph. So the person reading Pharaoh’s lines did the same to the person reading Joseph’s lines. She put a ring, a multi-colored towel, and a…oops, I forgot to get a necklace…oh well, on her brother. They remember the story.

When we pray, each child has a journal. The ones who cannot read have a picture journal. Each one has a day and they lead us in prayer. We are also able to give them updates on how God is answering prayer, which encourages them in their prayers all the more. It is a powerful lesson for all of us, and a constant reminder of God’s faithfulness.

We also do Scripture memory. We have changed the way we do this recently, and it is working great. I found a simple Scripture memory system that I introduced to the family that takes just a few minutes each day and allows passages to stick quickly and be repeated often. To learn more about that you can go to http://simplycharlottemason.com/timesavers/memorysys/.

You may read this article and still be intimidated. I want to encourage you to simply try something. You don’t have to do all of this. Just start with something. We now take about 40 minutes for all of this. It is an investment that pays dividends every day. Our children are hiding God’s Word in their hearts, they are experiencing God answering prayer, and they are learning how the Scriptures apply to their lives. These are critical life-long lessons for all of us. Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it (Prov. 22:6). Start training, men.”

-Sean Martin

Dear ATI Families,

We are pleased to announce that Phil Downer and his wife, Susy, will be
hosting a Marriage for Life conference at the Oklahoma City Training
Center on August 27-28.

Phil Downer has delighted and challenged audiences at the ATI Regional
Conferences this year. His straightforward approach to disciple making
has encouraged hundreds of families to make a commitment to
discipleship.

Phil and his daughter, Anna, have touched many fathers as they have
shared the practical steps they took to strengthen their relationship.

Now Phil and Susy Downer have created a seminar to teach how to build
intimacy and teamwork in marriage. Here is an excerpt from Phil’s own
testimony:

“We do not know where we would be if God had not reached us in the
despair and pain of our broken marriage, the pressures of business, the
crisis in relationships, the horror remaining from combat as a Marine
machine gunner, and given us a purpose in our family, a biblical context
for ambition and success, and tools and practical paths to follow in
nurturing and discipling our six children and reaching others the way we
were reached. Because Christ reached us through godly and committed
people, strategically placed in our lives, we are committed to spend our
remaining days, not only doing the same with others, but assisting like-
minded people, in addition to pastors and leaders, to be life
multipliers.”

For questions or more information on this event you can visit
www.afamilyforlife.com/okc , e-mail events@okc.iblp.org,
or call the Oklahoma City Training Center at 405-526-0001.

Sincerely,

Andrew D. Warner
Administrative Director
Advanced Training Institute International

“Success in marriage is not measured by the absence of misunderstandings, but rather by how quickly you course correct and reconnect after a conflict. If the words, “We need to talk,” strike fear in your heart, then this conference will give you the tools and confidence to pursue connection, overtake the host of issues you are facing and recover all God has ordained for your marriage. Newlyweds will gain valuable skills to keep little issues from becoming big ones. Mature couples will find new ways to resolve old problems and achieve lasting resolution.”

For more information on this conference including conference topics, pricing, and locations, please visit the Noble Call website. Noble Call Institute is the ministry of Chris and Ann Hogan.

Moral Purity Provides Protection

When Satan binds a father through hidden sin, he is free to enter the lives of each family member to torment them. Struggles in a child’s life such as rebellion, lying, fears, moral failures, and other problems are often a direct result of hidden sins in the father’s life. In Mark 3:27, Jesus said, “No man can enter into a strong man’s house, and spoil his goods, except he will first bind the strong man; and then he will spoil his house.”

If the enemy can bind the father through hidden moral failure, he can then easily plunder the father’s “goods”—his wife and children. Satan’s ultimate goal for destruction is not focused only on the father, but also on the man’s wife and children. Satan may even leave the father alone, once the father has given him access to his family through unconfessed sin. A father may be gaining victory over his own sin, but as long as he refuses to humble himself and make a full confession, Satan is free to actively torment his wife and children.

Our children are like mirrors that help us see our own lives more clearly. Galatians 6:7 says, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap” Thus, if we see signs of rebellion, lust, or any other sin in our children, we must first ask ourselves where those sins are present in our own lives. Just as sin in a father’s life is a powerful tool for Satan, so a father’s open, humble confession is a powerful tool against Satan. A father’s honesty about his own sin releases him from Satan’s bondage and frees him to fulfill his role to his family as their protector.

~Paul Speed
4 Days 2 Freedom
WIT! Ministries

"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…” (Proverbs 23:7)

❒ Examples in Scripture
● 2 Samuel 9—Mephibosheth was crippled from a very early age because his nurse believed that David was out to kill the descendants of Saul and Jonathan. He lived in a far away land, crippled and in fear, because he believed King David wanted to do him harm. In truth he was heir to the covenant between David and Jonathan, but was living in a desert because he believed, “I am nothing more than a dead dog.” David mercifully repeated the truth to him: to bless and restore him in the kingdom.
Just because we stumble and spiral downward time and again, only means that God continues to pursue us over and over again.
● 1 Kings 18–19:18—A great spiritual showdown had just taken place, with Elijah commanding the people to take a stand between which God they would serve. The prophets of Baal were slain, and the great drought miraculously ended. Jezebel sent a threat to his life, and he ran in fear. He stated his lie twice: “…I, even I only am left.” (1 Kings 19:10,14) God spoke the truth directly to his lie, “I have reserved seven thousand in Israel who have not bowed the knee to Baal…”

❒ Danger of a Lie:
● Lies affect your relationships with others as well as with your heavenly Father. (Psalm 51:6)
● Your lies will feed the lies of others. Reactions based on a lie will reinforce the lies being spoken to others.
● Lies are used to excuse character flaws—a cop-out for shortcomings.
● Some traits attributed to “just my personality” are nothing more than a mask for the fruit from deep-seated lies.
● You are created in the image of God; Are these accusations against your character true of the attributes of God? Where in the character of Christ do you see your lie? What are we believing about ourselves that does not line up with God’s character?

Separate Person from Performance
Do the circumstances of life dictate who you are as a person? You may never “get it together” or be “as smart as” others, but does that change who you are in Christ? If nothing changes in your outward circumstances, are you still loved and accepted in Him?

❒ How Do We Believe a Lie?
1. Validation—Whoever you give the power to validate you, you also give the power to destroy you—invalidate you.

● Do NOT look for a spouse to meet your needs, and to fill voids in your life! Many marriages come to each other looking to take what the other person has that you want or are lacking.
● Disappointment comes by expecting from another what only God can give. Allow God to answer your core questions. (Isaiah 57:15; Micah 6:8)
2. Hurt/Rejection—The enemy comes in on the tail end of a wound with a lie
● Many times you are hurt or rejected by the very thing you look to validate you. If that painful experience is not responded to in the grace of God, bitterness will take root. Satan will add incident after incident throughout life to reinforce it.
3. Bitterness—Comes when we “sit down” and have a conversation with the Enemy.
● We shake hands with the Enemy and make an agreement
● If we do not take hold of the grace of God, you become the victim. Victims never get free. 4. Lie—Conclusions about your identity based on circumstances or acceptance by others.
● “Because of this circumstance (this person who hurt me), therefore I must be ___________ (worthless, stupid, on my own, etc.)”

❒ Use Irritations to Identify Core Lies
Allow God to show you the issues of your heart, one at a time, level by level. ● Ask God what is keeping you from discovering your lie?
● “Why do I react this way? Why do I have these habits? Why can’t I respond to others and engage emotionally? What is it inside me that leads me to choose to not lay my life down?”
● When we humble ourselves, take our own responsibility and die, God raises us up from the grave to walk in resurrection power.
● You cannot identify your lie and find the truth if you are hiding sin and/or bitterness. When the grace of God is resisted, freedom is bound.
● Certain facets of life, capabilities, abilities, failures, etc, may be true, but what is the deeper lie that pins that to your character? What is the deeper lie from the Accuser of your soul telling you about yourself as a person? i.e.: “I can’t do this or that, therefore I am ____________” (worthless, a ‘nobody’, etc.)
● Repent—take responsibility for making an agreement with the Enemy and agreeing to these lies, instead of just succumbing to the “fact” (lie) that he doesn’t love you, you’re not worth pursuing, you’re abandoned, etc.
● Cry out for God to show you your true character, of who you are in Christ, Whose image you are created in! Expose the lie you have accepted as truth for so many years, and renounce it in the name of Jesus.

❒ Speaking Truth to Others
“Your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.” (1 Peter 5:8)
“For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)
Engage – Pursue – Restore to Truth vs. Fear – Run – Abandon
● Satan is the Father of Fear and Lies who seeks to divide and conquer. (John 8:44)
● Lies are woven into the things that you fear.
● Reach into the lives of others when they are reacting. Ask them, “What are you afraid of?
Whatever is driving and tormenting you right now is not of God. What is the truth in this situation? What is this saying about His character?”
● When dealing with your children, look for possible lies they are believing which would affect their behavior. They may not always be in rebellion, but are hearing the Enemy’s lies, causing them to withdraw from the rest of the family.
● Just because you identify your lie, does not mean you won’t hear it again. But once you are on guard, you have the weapon of Truth to now recognize it as such, and can speak the Truth to it.

List of Common Lies:
● I don’t have what it takes
● I’ll never be man enough
● I’m not adequate for the task
● If I’m not perfect, I won’t be loved
● I’m Stupid
● I’ll never measure up
● I don’t fit/belong
● I’m just passive
● “He doesn’t love me—if he did, he would ___________”
● I am on my own—abandoned to do it myself
● I am not special, and have nothing to offer
● If I do not control, I will be hurt. I must protect myself
● I don’t need anyon!
● I’m worthless, not deserving
● I’m not needed
● I’m not worth pursuing

Personal Reflection:
❍ When you begin to spiral out of control, what are you hearing? (I’m an idiot, I’m inadequate, I’m on my own, etc.)
❍ What is your first memory of hearing this lie? Where was the grace of God resisted?
❍ When did you enter into a conversation, shake hands with the Enemy, and agree with the lies he fed you about yourself, your spouse, your children, or others?
❍ Identify Commands of Christ that have been violated.
❍ Take responsibility for having that conversation with the Enemy.
❍ Take your questions to God, and allow Him to answer.
❍ Cry out to renounce the lie, and speak truth to replace it. (Speak it out loud!!!)
❍ Resist bitterness, grab hold of God’s grace, and walk in His Truth.

(Photo via Flickr)

Topics Include:
• Who does God say I am and what difference does that make?
• Getting free and staying free
• Understanding why you do what you do, and how to stop it
• How to have true intimacy with God and others
• Tearing down strongholds (false beliefs)
• Overcoming lies we believe
• Spiritual warfare – Defeating your enemy
• How to walk in true biblical accountability

Upcoming Intensive Weekends:
• May 27-30, 2010
• June 17-20, 2010
• July 15-18, 2010
• August 26-29, 2010

For more information on Paul Speed and 4 Days to Freedom, click here.

For more information on WIT! Ministries, click here

In this segment you’ll learn how to go through the 9 levels of Intimacy with your Wife and Children.

Study Guide:

Noble Moments Session 4 Study Guide

Other Sessions:

• Noble Moments Session 1: Slow is Fast in Relationships
• Noble Moments Session 2: Taking the Lower Path in Relationships
• Noble Moments Session 3: Becoming a Noble Man in Jesus Christ

 
Roger Magnuson presents a dynamic message on the value of Biblical commitments and how they fit into the concept of “total surrender.” Sharing the “serendipities” of Isaac’s life and explaining the meanings behind the names of Abraham, Sarah, and Rebekah, he illustrates the victory that comes to those who totally surrender to God. This DVD message was given at a 2005 ATI Training Conference.

 
Paul and Jenny Speed testify of the power behind the promise that if we confess our sins to one another, the Lord will be faithful and just to heal. With sincerity and humility, the Speeds share how the Lord set their whole family free as Paul confessed his secret failures to his wife and how together they walked through the door of forgiveness and into freedom from spiritual “tormentors” that had gained ground in their home. This message was given at a 2005 ATI Training Conference. By Paul and Jenny Speed CD; 58 minutes

 
Today, believers are living with an obvious absence of God’s power. The world measures power in practical terms. Do we have the power to control our temper or our appetites? Do we have the power to keep our marriages together and to train up sons and daughters who are dynamic and grateful? Tragically, the answer to these questions is a resounding “no!” Believers are having just as many problems as the world in many of these areas. Yet, we claim to serve a powerful God. This book reveals the 49 “secrets” of power that come from applying each of the commands of Christ. Success in life and power for living occur as we are conformed more and more to the image of Christ. Success is not the absence of problems but rather the power to overcome these obstacles, because “greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world” (I John 4:4). Discover and experience the power of Christ’s commands to demonstrate to a watching world the mighty love and power of God! IBLP Paperback; 116 pages

For more information, or to order, please visit The IBLP Store